so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
