I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
