my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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