He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
