do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
