oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
