i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
