Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
