filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We left an ass print on the piano.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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