i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
