we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
