You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
