I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
