no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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