Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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