Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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