i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize