carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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