Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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