So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
