Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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