You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
