I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
