Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
