The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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