she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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