i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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