Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
