I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My ass is underappreciated
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