I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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