Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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