I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
