I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
