Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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