I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
