I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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