When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I don't deserve a penis
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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