White coat. Heels.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
