I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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