Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
