I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
