someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she smelled like a LAN party
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
