i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
