i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
