Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
