Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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