Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
