You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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