i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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