Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
