Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
