You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
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