The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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