I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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