He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she peed on how many people?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
