hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
