the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
