Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
