I faked an abortion last night.
Your dad touched me again.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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