the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
