his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
